When your heart stops...

There is a moment when you feel you cannot breathe, it is true it is only a fraction of a second but it feels like an eternity. I think it was shock. Not like something actually happened, but the fantasy died. Even at the peak the fantasy was a mere glitch, but that glitch is over. Not dead, not living, not really anything. I am actually seeing things through different eyes. I can not explain it one bit. In fact I am quite shocked I am even talking about this because it is very silly. Maybe it is because I can not rationalize my way out of this, or maybe because I have rationalized it to death. Its not real, not not real, just not existent ever. why am I still thinking. The blandness is consuming.

edit:

Oh man I am so glad what happened happened. I have suddenly found this huge freedom from within, a renewed zest for life, hell maybe even a rebirth. I am seriously elated its 3:30 in the AM, and I am buzzing with excitement. I can not wait to see what the future brings. Thank you ever so much.

Joshua